Covid-19 Diaries: Kindness and Lifelines

I’m typing this one-handed, or rather, one-thumbed. I’m currently waiting until it’s safe to move the baby without waking her.

It’s been 9 weeks since the UK went into lockdown. While restrictions have been lifted in England, here in NI they remain much the same. We’re allowed to meet non household members outdoors, but otherwise it’s still “Stay at Home.”

Let me preface the rest of this blog with this statement: I 100% agree with this. That being said, I’m not going to lie. It’s absolutely horrendous.

I decided to write this because it’s Mental Health Awareness Week, and I don’t know about you, but this lockdown has me down. I’m tired of being Mommy 24/7. I’m tired of working silly hours to get quality work ready for my pupils. I’m tired of being stuck in the same rut a la Groundhog Day.

I’m tired of never having space to breathe.

This year’s Mental Health Awareness Week theme is kindness, and this evening I made a good, kind choice. My anxiety and distress had built up so much that I knew I had to do something. So I called Lifeline.

The last time I called them was Feb 2019. I only know this because the amazing gentleman on the phone told me so. And you know, it made me feel weirdly proud. I managed to make it through 15 months without being that far in distress. That’s pretty damn amazing.

Lockdown is tough. Covid-19 is a bastard that can fuck right off to the moon. The recurring physical issues I’m also having aren’t making things easier. But I refuse to lie down under all of this. I will keep smiling. I will keep looking for positives and faking it until I make it.

I need to be strong for my daughters. I need to be more compassionate to myself.

I need to be kind.

So this Mental Health Awareness Week, make sure you check in with yourself. Are you okay? What tangible steps can you take to ease the pressure and burden? How can you be kind to yourself? I eased the burden on myself a bit by reaching out, which I did today. If you need to, pick up the phone and do it. Talking to Lifeline helped massively, and that’s why I’m writing this blog. If you’re looking for a sign that everything is going to be alright, this is it. Now go be kind to yourself.

Kudos to you, Lifeline, for living up to exactly what your name suggests. You’ve helped ease my burden a little, and that means a lot.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try and move a baby without waking her, and then climb Mount Workload.

[Editing note: She stayed asleep…for now.]

*

If You Need Help

Samaritans: 116 123 (https://www.samaritans.org)

Lifeline (NI)0808 808 8000 (https://www.lifelinehelpline.info)

Get Self Help: https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/helplines.htm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s